傅老师，有空请帮修改一下英文简历（急）

第一次写英文简历，有很多错误，请傅老师帮忙。
修改时请用常用的词汇表达，不要用生涩的词汇。谢谢！
各位同学，你们毕业后写简历也可以参考
***是怕被朋友看到，呵呵

David  Zhang
Male/single
Birth date: November 12,1976
Born In Shanxi Province
Live In Dongguan City,Guangdong Province,China
Mobile  (+86)135372*****
Dreamers***@hotmail.com
Working experience:
April 2005—April 2010  Worked in SMC Pneumatics Ltd. In Dongguan, as a Sales Director
Duties include: selling products, customer service, training new employees, market analyzing, managing my employees ect..
April 2003—March 2005  Worked in Foxconn Precision manufacturing Co., as a Mechanical Engineer
Duties include: drawing, developing TOWER COOLER and HEAT FIN.
July 2000—Feburary 2003  Worked in Baowei Plastic and Model factory, as a Mechanical Engineer
Duties include: drawing, managing mechanics, developing an automatic machine about spraying.
Education:
September 1996—July 2000  Department of Mechanical Engineering, Kunming University Science&Technology
Language Skills:
I passed English CET4, and I have good English skills of listening, speaking, reading and writing. And I am improving these abilities.   
Interests:
Reading, Traveling, Playing basketball, Hiking
Self assessment:
I have worked in the manufacturing industry for almost ten years. I have a lot of working experience in designing and selling. Have excellent customer service skills and a lot of knowledge about machines.
I have great passion and can work in stress, and work in team.
Hoping to apply my knowledge and passion for the job.

写得还不错。

1、一般老外会在简历正文最开始介绍自己的工作方向，如：
Objective: Seeking employment as a business ESL instructor

2、大部分老外的简历是没有self assessment这个内容的，文末一般会有Referrence列出来或者说Referrence available upon request

3、大部分老外应该不知道CET4和CET6的，他们说Band 4和Band 6.

另外你的英文12行绝对是亮点

引用

引用第1楼傅老师于2010-06-01 09:26发表的  :
写得还不错。

1、一般老外会在简历正文最开始介绍自己的工作方向，如：
Objective: Seeking employment as a business ESL instructor

.......

谢谢傅老师！
第12行啊，本人觉得有的事情也不像描述的那样，很多因素吧，也说不清。呵呵